


Beautiful storm

by LunaSpike



Category: The 100, The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst, Army, Battle, Clexa, Clexa Endgame, Commander Lexa, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, M/M, Military, Murphamy - Freeform, The 100 - Freeform, lexa - Freeform, lexark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-03-06 19:22:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13417974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaSpike/pseuds/LunaSpike
Summary: Commander Lexa Woods has been in the military for a couple of years. Despite her dark past she refuses to quit the dangerous career. She can handle it, or so she says. But everything changes when she gets assigned a new squad, consisting of a trigger happy boy named Murphy, a fierce and reckless mechanic called Raven, her best friend Anya, a stubborn boy named Bellamy, his fighter of a sister Octavia, Octavia's boyfriend Lincoln, a tracker named Finn and last but not least a beautiful blonde that Lexa can't seem to get off her mind.





	1. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapter is a bit short but I promise they will be longer, I just wanted to post this now (if that makes sense (I know it doesn't))

_Screams echoed through the cave tunnels_  
_Fists thrown against warm cheeks_  
_Knees meeting an already sore stomach_  
_Harsh hands gripping brown curls_  
_The struggle was pointless and the brunette knew it as she watched the girl with skin like hot chocolate being dragged helplessly away, but she didn’t stop, not even for a second, to fight back against the men holding her._  
_All she could do was fight, fight through the pain, struggle desperately towards the girl, the girl with once warm mocha eyes. But now, the mocha eyes were not warm or happy. They were scared and helpless and sad at what was to come. And the last thing she saw was the mocha eyes locking with her one last time before she was dragged around the corner and away._

**“COSTIA!”**

Lexa shot from the bed as the name escaped her lips. Forest green eyes flying around the room in a panic as she felt her heart beating wildly in her chest, lungs desperately gasping for air.  
It took a couple of seconds before she realized what was going on.

“It’s just a nightmare”

The words were merely a breath, barely escaping her lips. Her chest still heaving, hands trembling and heart beating so hard she could see it through her tight tank top. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her breath, one hand pressed towards her chest to feel the racing of her heart slowly slowing down to a normal pace, which of course took a while.

Once she had calmed herself enough she checked her alarm clock.

**4:30am**

Lexa let out a sigh, fully aware that trying to get more sleep would be pointless. Still feeling pretty disoriented the brunette glanced up at the calendar hanging on the wall and let out yet another sigh as she realized what day it was. In no less than two hours she would have to be ready for Anya to pick her up outside. She had been home for Christmas, not that she had anyone to come home to, but she had enjoyed the peace and quiet.

She got out of her bed and dragged her tank top, now soaked in sweat, over her head and threw it into the washing machine. Still wearing her pajama shorts she walked over to the bathroom and turned on the bright lights. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the lights, walking in and looking over herself in the mirror.

Brown curls laid in a tangled mess down her back, and by the looks of it she must’ve been tossing and turning in her sleep again. Her face and hair were covered in cold sweat and so were her body. The sweat reflected the lights, making her tan skin almost shiny. She could feel the back of her sports bra was also wet. She rubbed her hands down her face as she tried to clear her mind, before taking off the rest of her clothes and throwing them in the washing machine with her T-shirt before stepping into the shower.

30 minutes later she was walking into the kitchen. She made herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table with a book. Another hour passed before her phone buzzed, signaling an incoming text. Lexa picked up her phone and wasn’t surprised to see that Anya had sent the text.  
Outside in 30. Your ass better be waiting for me when I get there!  
Lexa chuckled a bit before getting out of her chair, washing her cup and putting it back in the cabinet before packing her book into her bag, putting on her boots and with one last look at her apartment she shut the door and went downstairs, deciding to go buy some snacks for the long trip ahead. She put her keys in her pocket and felt her fingers brush against a knife that she had placed in her pocket.

**She never went anywhere without a knife.**


	2. "Meet your new squad"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our first introduction with the squad, some one-on-one combat and a little moment between Lexa and Clarke. Some Clarke PoV towards the end XD

“Hey, Woods!”

 

A familiar voice had Lexa smiling as she entered the military base. A tall and muscular man jogged towards her and gave her a tight hug before letting go and hugging Anya as well. Anya glared at him and pretended like she didn’t want the hug, but Lexa could see that she had missed her friend.

“Lincoln” Lexa smiled, happy to see the man who was like a brother to.  He was wearing camo pants and jacket, hiding most of his tattoos underneath so that they were only visible on his neck.

 

This year Lexa would be assigned a new troop. She prayed that she wouldn’t get any stupid, reckless and immature kids in her squad, as she was well aware of the arrogance some of these younger soldiers possessed. They didn’t like to follow orders and tended to go rouge in battle, which Lexa really didn’t need in the squad that was under her responsibility. She was lost deep in thought while Anya and Lincoln were comparing who had the worst holidays because apparently holidays was just the worst.

 

“Commander Woods! Welcome back!” A female voice interrupted Anya and Lincolns aggressive debate of what Christmas food is the worst. Lexa turned around to see Indra approaching her with a big smile. The woman quickly shook her and Anya’s hand. “Welcome back commander. It’s good to see you.” Lexa smiled warmly. “It’s good to see you too Indra. I’m assuming you’ve come to lead me to the newbies?” Indra chuckled lightly. “Your assumptions are correct, as usual. Follow me please”

 

Indra led Lexa into the training locals and down the stairs. There were seven people currently training down there. Indra turned towards Lexa. “Meet your new squad” she pointed towards a man with dark curly hair who was currently lifting weights. “Bellamy Blake. He likes to be in charge and in control, so you’ll have to make it clear who’s the boss. Good with a gun and decent in hand to hand combat. Many believe he joined the military to protect his little sister,” Indra pointed to a girl who was currently fighting with Lincoln on the mats in the middle of the room. She was fast, and got in way more blows than Lincoln did. “Octavia Blake. That girl is fierce. Deadly with melee weapons, amazing in hand to hand combat. She doesn’t like guns, God knows why, but she has a strong will and she has got to be one of the bravest people I know. She used to be in my team before I got promoted.” Lexa nodded, impressed with the young woman as she managed to trip Lincoln, so he felt to the ground. She gave a triumphant yell before reaching out a hand to help Lincoln up. Lexa chuckled at the fake pout on Lincolns face as he ignored her hand and got up on his own. “Do I get Lincoln as well then?” She hoped she did. It would be good to have him on her team. “Yes, and Anya as well. The fates are smiling upon you this year” Indra quietly laughed. Lexa smiled as well when she heard her best friend would also be in her squad. She looked around and found her in the corner throwing knives at a target.

 

Indra coughed to catch her attention as she pointed at a girl standing next to a bag mumbling to herself as she fiddled with something that she must’ve made herself. Metal and some wires were the only thing she could see from here. “That” Indra said humorously “is Raven Reyes. A genius mechanic that could make a bomb out of almost anything. She’s decent with a gun but I wouldn’t bet on her in a hand to hand combat with anyone. I’m 99% sure she’s currently planting a trap or a prank of some sort. Then we have John Murphy” Indra pointed at a guy sitting on a bench along the wall polishing a gun. “He knows how to shoot, and the kid is good with a knife but other than that he’s not much. Way too trigger happy for my taste. I would advise you not to trust him, he’s sly and cunning and he only does what’s best for himself. Well, I’m pretty sure he s\has  a soft spot for his boyfriend, Blake over there, though he pretends like he doesn’t. Blake is pretty much the only person who can somewhat control him. I have no idea as to why he decided to join the military, but that kid doesn’t have much to lose. No family, both parents died from illness when he was young. I myself believe he only joined the military because Bellamy Blake joined, though I doubt Murphy would ever admit that. And” Indra pointed at the roof where a boy was sitting crouched down on a roof beam. Lexa hadn’t noticed him when she entered the room _. So there’s eight other people on my team then,_ she thought to herself. “That little sneak is Finn Collins. An excellent tracker, he’s not the best in combat but he can shoot. He used to hunt, that’s why he’s so good at tracking and shooting, also climbing, hiding and being silent. And last but not least we have Clarke Griffin” Lexa had to stop herself from gasping as her emerald eyes roamed over the blonde sitting next to Octavia and Lincoln, drawing in what appeared to be a sketch book. “She’s a great improviser, very protective of her friends, good at planning and definitely the person you want to have with you if an emergency should occur. Her mother is a doctor and Clarke has learned a lot from her. She’s the medic of your team, but don’t underestimate her in battle. That kid has balls” Indra smirked. The blonde was completely lost in her sketch, blonde hair set up in a loose bun and some stray strands of hair hanging around her face. Even though she was a bit far away Lexa knew that she was beautiful.

 

“Everyone!” Indra yelled, and the team immediately stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Indra. Lexa quickly averted her eyes from the blonde so it wouldn’t look like she was staring. “This is Commander Lexa Woods, she’ll be the leader of this team. You are to report to her and follow her orders.” Indra looked down at her watch. “I have to leave now, I’ll let you guys get to know each other” And with that, she left. Lexa looked around the team.  “Well, as you hear, my name is Lexa Woods, and I’m your commander. Since I have never met most of you before I want to start with something a bit… unorthodox. When were put out in the field we need to know that we can trust each other, our strengths and weaknesses, and you all need to feel that your commander is reliable. So were going to start with a sparring session. I will spar against each one of you individually, as that is the best way for us to get to know each other.” Murphy snorted loudly. “Can’t we just name five of our interests or something? You don’t really get to know someone when you’re too busy beating each other up.” Lexa looked at him with a smirk. “Looks like you ‘ll go first then.” Murphy laughed at her words and looked her up and down, no doubt thinking it would be an easy match. Then he stared straight into her eyes daringly. “What do I get if I win?” “What do you want?” Murphy thought about it before smiling. “I want a free pass on all chores and the right to choose my assignments amongst the ones you give the team and the possibility to refuse any tasks I don’t wish to participate in.” Lexa thought for a second before taking a step closer to him in a challenge. “Deal. Anyone who can beat me in a sparring match, except for Anya and Lincoln since you’d have an unfair advantage,” Anya sighed loudly and muttered something that to Lexa sounded like “Unfair… fish soup… beat your ass… potato newbies” She was pretty sure she heard something wrong. Lexa continued her sentence “will get all of the perks Murphy said.” Then she walked over to the training mat. Murphy followed with a cocky smile. Lexa took a defensive stance and Murphy wasted no time, surging forward with a punch. Lexa quickly ducked to the side and grabbed his arm, then she went under the arm she was holding, using her free arm to elbow him in the stomach, then turned her hand upwards so it hit him directly in the face before grabbing his neck and while still holding his arm with her left hand she flipped him over. He did a flip in the air before his back hit the ground and the air escaped his lungs. Lexa then let go of him and took a step back while he was gasping for air. “You didn’t wait, or take any precaution, which means you’re an aggressive person fighter and an angry and aggressive person, probably with a short temper. You went straight for my head, meaning you have no concern when it comes to hurting me, so I’m guessing you’re an independent person and that you put your own well being over others, maybe with an exception of those you care about.” She glanced at Bellamy. Murphy got up and scowled at her before stepping off the mat. “Who’s next?”

 

Lexa looked around the group. Bellamy stepped forward with a laugh. “I guess I’ll have to fight for my boyfriend’s honor then” Murphy punched him in the shoulder. “Ow!” The rest of the group laughed. Bellamy did better than Murphy, but then he got a bit too cocky and ended up on his back as well. Raven was next afterwards, and as Lexa made quick process of her Raven muttered something about keeping to bombs. Then Finn had a go. He played a lot more on the defense but after about half a minute Lexa got in a kick in his stomach and as he grunted and bent down slightly Lexa stepped forward and tripped him over her leg. Octavia was a lot of fun sparring against. They both got in several blows before Octavia went with a punch a tiny bit too fast and when Lexa ducked Octavia momentarily lost balance, which was all Lexa needed to get Octavia laying on the ground with a disoriented look on her face. Lexa chuckled lightly at her confusion before helping her up. “You’re really good” she noted. “By far the best fighter amongst you guys. I’m guessing you’ve been taught by Lincoln” Octavia nodded, smiling at the praise from the commander. Finn smirked a bit, looking over at the beautiful blonde who was once again lost in her sketch book. “Looks like you’re up princess!” Clarke looked up from her sketch book and Lexa felt the air disappear from her lungs as sky blue eyes met her forest green. Then she pulled herself together. “Princess, huh?” The group laughed. “Yeah” Raven shot in. “It’s her nickname. Long story, maybe I’ll tell you about it later”. Clarke shot her a pointed look before stepping on to the mat. She looked a bit insecure. Lexa smiled. “I promise to be gentle Griffin. You ready?” Clarke blushed and nodded quickly. Lexa took defensive stance and Clarke did the same. Lexa stepped suddenly forward, and a startled Clarke lifted her hands to block the oncoming attack. Then Lexa stepped back again, and Clarke let her guard down a bit, blushing more now. Then she stepped forward herself and tried with a punch. Lexa ducked to the side before grabbing Clarkes arm and swiftly bending down and swiping her feet up with her other hand, and suddenly she was standing there holding Clarke bridal style before smirking down at her and carefully laying her down on the mat. For a second the women just looked into each other’s eyes before the sound of everyone laughing had them both looking up at their friends.

** Shift in POV: Clarke  **

When Lexa had been introduced to the group, Clarke immediately noticed that this woman was extremely and unbelievably hot. Her face, her body, everything about her basically screamed perfection and beauty. Then she had shook her head. _Goddamn it Clarke this is your commander, tone down the gay a bit!_ she thought to herself. Now she was standing there, fighting said commander on the sparring mats. The commander made no move to attack, and it seemed almost like she was waiting for Clarke to make a move. Now, Clarke wasn't actually that bad in combat but she was flustered by the woman in front of her, and she wasn't at all able to focus on strategic moves. She realized she was blushing and tried to hide it by going in with a punch and all of a sudden, and she had no idea how, she was lying in Lexa’s arms staring right into her eyes as she smirked down at her. Clarke felt the heat in her cheeks and realized she was, once again, blushing, flustered as she were from her sudden loss of contact to the ground and the sudden increase of contact with commander Woods. Lexa’s eyes were beautiful, and Clarke kept staring into them as Lexa carefully laid her down on the mat. She felt a heat in her chest. _Goddamn it, there goes the plan of toning down the gay. What the heck is wrong with me?_ Clarke sighed internally. Why did she have to be like this? As she went back to the laughing spectators she could feel that she was blushing and bent her head down so no one would notice as she went straight back to her sketchbook and shyly started continuing her sketch only to get startled as she realized what, or rather who, she had been mindlessly doodling. She stared down at the only colored place in the otherwise black and white sketch, the place where emerald eyes stared back up at her, and she nearly dropped her as she realized that in the sketch, even though it was only pictured from just under her shoulders and up, the commander was _completely naked._ Clarke quickly closed the sketchbook before anyone could look over her shoulder, and she did not open it again for the rest of the day.


	3. Capture the flag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets to test their battle skills against each other for the first time! (That's all I'm gonna say. No spoilers!)

A forest green gaze roamed over the landscape. She had taken a vantage point on higher ground, trying to get a better look at the landscape around her and to find out where her opponents were hiding.

 

Griffin shuffled behind her and crept a bit closer before pointing at something between the trees ahead of them. Collins, Lexa realized. He seemed to be focusing on the ground, more than likely tracking them.

 

Griffin lifted her gun to fire, but Lexa put a hand on top of it and forced her to lower it down. If they missed, Finn would hear it and take cover, or run back into the woods. They only had one chance, and she wasn’t going to waste it. She swiftly lifted her own gun, aiming for Finn as he walked clueless in front of them, and pulled the trigger.

 

A surprised shout escaped the man before he looked down at the red that was splattered on his chest, right above his heart. He then dramatically gripped his chest and fell to the ground. Griffin giggled ever so slightly next to Lexa and she felt a smirk forming on her own lips.

 

Collins looked over at them with a smirk. “And here I was planning to ambush you guys and give you a pretty blue makeover! Well, too bad I’m dead now. Commander Woods would look mighty fine in some blue paint” He laughed, and Lexa could hear Griffin snorting behind her, desperately trying not to laugh.

 

Lexa had acquired some paintball-gear earlier that day and passed it off as practice for the real deal, claiming that her troop would get more experienced this way as it was more realistic. She split her troop in two teams, with her leading the red team and Anya leading the blue team. The forest outside of camp had been perfect for this little activity. Who said you couldn’t have fun in the army?

 

Her team, team red, consisted of her, Griffin, Lincoln and Octavia, who had already earned the nickname Skairipa which meant Death from Above in Trigedasleng, a language that Lexa, Anya and Lincoln had made up as kids. It was loosely based on English and what it sounded like, and perfect to use in the field so enemies couldn’t listen in on their plans and conversations.

 

 Lincoln had already taught it to Octavia, but the four remaining soldiers seemed to have some struggles when it came to learning it.

 

Team blue had Anya, the older Blake sibling, Murphy, Reyes and Collins. Lexa felt confident her team would win, even though they were outnumbered, and the other team was hard competition. Lincoln and Octavia were currently in the woods playing on the defense, making sure the flag was safe. Griffin had followed Lexa up in the higher grounds to try see where the blue flag might be hiding.

 

Lexa got up from her hiding spot and turned around to help Griffin up, only to realize she was already standing. She chuckled ever so slightly. Something told her that this girl had more to her than what most people noticed and decided not to underestimate her. They started to walk in the direction Finn came from, careful not to make too much noise.

 

They walked in silence for about two minutes before Lexa caught a glimpse of something in the bushes nearby. She stopped completely in her track, turned around and tackled Griffin just as a paintball flew past her shoulder. Griffin let out a small “Ow” as they landed behind a tree.

 

 Lexa quickly readied her gun and peaked around the corner of the tree. Another paintball flew past her head and she quickly got behind the tree again.

 

 Then she waited for a second before turning around again and shooting against the bush in one swift motion. A surprised yell came from over there and Murphy stumbled out of the bush with a big red paint stain on his vest. Griffin peaked out from behind Lexa and had to hold back a laugh when she saw Murphy standing there with his arms crossed and the big red splat on his stomach.

 

Murphy glared at her. “Oh shut up princess” Lexa lifted a brow in question. “Why do you call Griffin princess?” Griffin looked over at her and said “First off you can call me Clarke. Griffin is my mom” she joked. “Second off, that nickname has a long and complicated story to it that we definitely do not need to hear right now so I suggest we keep moving.” “Actually-“ Murphy started before Griff- before **Clarke** punched his shoulder and gave him a glare that clearly told him to shut it. Murphy laughed a bit before shrugging and mumbling “whatever” as Clarke all but dragged Lexa away.

 

After finding Murphy they didn’t have to walk for long before they came to a clearing in the woods, and at the other side of the clearing was the blue flag. Clarke immediately started running towards the flag and Lexa had to sprint after her as she saw something flying through the air.

 

“CLARKE NO” Lexa all but screamed as she ran after her. As Lexa tackled Clarke for the second time that day they landed behind some bushes nearby with Lexa straddled atop of Clarke. Lexa quickly leaned down so they wouldn’t be visible and put a hand over Clarkes mouth so she would stay quiet as she listened for sounds that might indicate enemies nearby.

 

Instead she heard a small bang and the sound of something splattering on the ground. She removed her hand from Clarkes mouth and whispered “I don’t think anyone is nearby. The thing came flying from the other side of the clearing, and I’m willing to bet that it’s Raven, defending the flag with paint bombs and traps. We’ll have to be careful.” Then she looked down at her legs and her eyes widened. Both soldiers blushed when they realized the position they were laying in and Lexa quickly got off her.

 

 Lexa looked over the bush just as an excuse to look away and was not surprised to see the area nearby covered in paint. Raven must’ve found a way to make paint bombs. She quietly lifted her gun and looked towards where the bomb had come from, but she didn’t see anything. She looked back at Clarke.

 

 “You stay here, I’ll go find Raven and take her down.” Clarke looked up at her and smirked ever so slightly. “Someone likes to play the hero huh?” Lexa chuckled. “Well, we might need our medic for later. There might be injuries. Besides, I think I can take on Raven” Clarke huffed and mumbled fine as she crossed her arms and gave her a pouty face. Lexa was slightly taken aback by the humorous shine in her deep ocean eyes before nodding and starting to sneak quietly around the clearing.

 

It didn’t take long before she started to notice small dirt piles here and there. _Probably more traps_ , Lexa thought and decided it would be better to move around in the trees for now on. Thick branches stretched out in every direction, and Lexa was pretty good at maneuvering from tree to tree, even with the paintball gear on. She stopped when she heard rustling in front of her on the ground. She quickly lifted her gun and aimed towards the direction the sound was coming from and saw Raven fiddling with some device that was probably another paint bomb.

 

Lexa was just about to pull the trigger when the device exploded in Ravens hands and the paint splattered everywhere. Lexa got so startled she jumped back, not realizing until it was too late that there was nothing to jump back on. She crashed down from the tree in a very ungracefully manner and landed on the ground with a loud “oof”.

 

Raven quickly snapped her head towards Lexa with confusion so strong Lexa could almost feel it, and the confusion grew stronger for the both of them as laughter came from the tree above them. They both looked up and to Lexa’s great horror she realized Clarke was sitting in the tree, pretty much dying from laughter. She got up from her awkward landing position on the ground and called up to her.

 

“I thought I told you to stay behind.”

 

Clarke swiftly and, unlike Lexa, very gracefully climbed down from the tree, jumping from the last branch to land right next to Lexa.

 

“As if I was just gonna wait around for you back there while you got to have all the fun!” Clarke crossed her arms. Lexa faked a scowl. “I’m your commander and you’re supposed to follow my orders.” Clarke chuckled. “Well, even the commander needs help sometimes.”

 

 Now it was Lexa’s turn to cross her arms. “I can take care of myself you know!” Clarke raised her eyebrow before starting to laugh again. “Need I remind you that you just fell out of a tree? And a pretty tall one at that. The landing didn’t exactly look planned to me.” Lexa blushed. Then Raven, who was covered in blue paint, decided to join the conversation. “Okay I don’t want to interrupt you two lovebirds but maybe wait with the flirting until after you’ve captured the flag?”

 

Now they were both blushing and Lexa quickly bent down and picked up her paintball gun. “Raven is right” she said. “We should keep moving.” She turned to Raven. “Is Anya and Bellamy nearby” Raven smirked. “The dead don’t talk commander. You’ll have to find out on your own.” Lexa looked at her. “They probably went to find our flag, which means they’re not here.” By the look on Ravens face, Lexa assumed she had guessed correctly. She picked up her gun and walked back towards the clearing.

 

“Let’s go get that flag”

 

Clarke and Lexa quickly got to the blue flag without running into any more enemies or traps. Clarke tied it down from the tree branch it was hanging from while Lexa guarded her, and then they quickly made their way back towards their own side. To win, they needed to get the red flag back to their own base.

 

When they were almost back at their own flag they all but crashed into Blake, who was carrying the blue flag. As Blake and Clarke fell to the ground with a yelp Lexa lifted her gun, but before she could pull the trigger Blake grabbed Clarke as a human shield and got up, holding Clarke in front of him.

 

“Drop the gun Commander Woods” he said. “Or princess here will get a big ball of paint in her face”

 

Clarke glared at him. “Don’t you dare!” she snarled. Blake smirked. Then he turned back to Lexa. “I’ll make sure to even get it in her pretty hair, it’ll be impossible to wash off! You willing to risk princess’s hair to win?”

 

Lexa looked at Clarke. Then back at Blake. Before she could even react properly Clarke did something unexpected. She stamped down on his foot and elbowed him in the stomach before grabbing the gun and turning around in one swift motion. The first shot hit him in the torso before he could react. Clarke shot three more bullets on him. Two hit his torso, and the third hit him in his head and the paint exploded into his hair.

 

Lexa gaped, shocked for a moment, before getting herself together. “Impressive reaction soldier. You showed off some impressive skills” Clarke smiled smugly. “No one is putting paint in my hair, ever!”

 

****

****

** Shift in POV: Clarke Griffin **

****

Clarke felt pretty good about herself for the way she handled the situation with Bellamy. Maybe she should feel bad about shooting him in the hair, considering how hard it would be to wash it out, but he was the one who started it, after all.

 

After literally running into Bellamy Clarke and Commander Woods had gotten back to their base with both flags without any more hostile encounters.

 

 After sending a message to the others about the fight being over they went back to the barracks where the ‘wounded’ and ‘dead’ were.

 

They announced their victory to the other soldiers. Lincoln gave a loud cheer. Both him and Octavia was covered in blue paint. It looked almost comical, and Clarke made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a gasp before looking over at a very blue Octavia.

 

“This is by far the bluest I’ve ever seen you. What happened?”

 

Octavia crossed her arms and huffed. “Anya must’ve gotten one of Ravens paint bombs or something. We were chasing after her when all of a sudden blue paint exploded from underneath us!”

 

“Actually” Anya said from the doorway, “it was a paint mine, made by apparently the only useless person on our team. Reyes over there gave it to me and told me to make you guys step on it. Did you really think you would’ve even spotted me if I hadn’t wanted you to?”

 

This earned a laugh amongst the team. Lincoln looked slightly embarrassed, but Octavia simply lifted her chin up. “Don’t underestimate me Anya, I’m better than you might think!”

 

Later the team changed back into their regular uniforms in the dressing room, and while changing Clarke couldn’t stop herself from glancing over at Commander Woods only to discover that -shit- she was wearing nothing but her sports bra on the top half of her body. She had already changed pants, and was now trying to find an opening on her shirt and as she stretched up to put it on Clarke immediately noticed the perfect set of abs on her exposed stomach. She quickly looked away, and feeling her cheeks heat up she knew she was blushing.

 

They quickly got dressed and went to eat, and then they got the rest of the day off, and spent it talking and relaxing, but once again, Clarke felt as if her eyes were drawn towards the commander, and a lot of secret glances was exchanged that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ran a bit longer than the other two. I didn't really know how to end it afterwards and therefore I am not completely sure how I feel about the ending but overall I think it was an okay chapter. Thoughts?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading my works, kudos and comments are much appreciated, criticism is welcome and I will try to post more soon! Also, if you want me to do other ships, or other Clexa AUs and stuff like that, feel free to drop your ideas down below and I'll try my best! XD


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get the full backstory on Costia and what happened in the cave. Some tough decisions are made.

 

“Hey Costia. It’s me, Lexa.” Lexa said as she looked up at the starry sky. “You’ve been gone for almost a year now. I really miss you.” Lexa took a shaky breath. “I know I haven’t talked to you in a while. It hurts too much I guess… I’m sorry. You deserved so much better than this. I should’ve protected you better. I should’ve done something. I shouldn’t have dragged you with me out there. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for your death. But that’s not what I need to talk to you about.”

 

Lexa paused, not sure how to continue. After a while she took another deep breath and continued anyways. “There’s this girl in my new squad. Her name is Clarke. I’ve only known her for a short while but… There’s just something about her. I can’t explain it. I’ve been hurting so much Costia, and when I’m with her, it seems to hurt a little less and a little less. It’s like an addiction, the more I’m with her the more I want to be with her. I think I’m falling for her, and I know you would want me to move on. The thing is… I’m scared. She’s so amazing Costia. So kind and caring and beautiful and funny, just like you used to be. And when I look into her eyes I can see this… this spark. Like joy and warmth and…” Lexa swallowed past the lump in her throat. She could feel the tears building in her eyes. “I’m so broken Costia. What if she doesn’t like me? Or even worse, what if she does? What if I’m bad for her? What of I kill that spark in her eyes, consume her in my darkness? I’m just so terrified of hurting her, breaking her.”

 

Silent tears were streaming down her face as Lexa spoke, the warmth of the tears on her cheeks feeling unusual. Lexa almost never cried. But she couldn’t help it. Images of Costia popped up in her head, their training together, school, joining the military together. Her smile. Her laugh. Dark hair in the sun as they laid in the grass relaxing on a summer day.

 

“I know you can’t answer.” Lexa said with a slight chuckle. “But I just… I don’t know. We always talked about everything and I just wanted you to know in case you were listening. Even though you never believed in an afterlife yourself so I guess this is pointless.” Another chuckle rippled through the silence.

 

She lost track of how long she stood there. It felt like hours passed. She didn’t go back inside until all her tears had dried, and she didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. And neither did Clarke, who had heard Lexa walk outside, and who had followed her. Clarke walked away after hearing Lexa blaming herself, figuring that this was a private moment and she shouldn’t be listening to Lexa while she was so vulnerable. She didn’t catch anything Lexa said about her as she went back to bed.

 

The next morning Clarke could see that Lexa was sad. She stayed quiet for most of the time and kept to herself. The past month Lexa and Clarke had become close, and Clarke felt her heart break a little when she saw that Lexa was not okay. But she was also a little hurt that Lexa had never mentioned this Costia to her before. She knew it wasn’t fair to be hurt by it, but she couldn’t help it.

 

That entire day Clarke felt incredibly guilty watched Lexa walk around with a gloomy expression, avoiding the rest of the team and keeping to herself. So when the evening came, she decided to confront Lexa with what she had heard. It was dark outside by the time she got to Lexa. They had just finished eating when Clarke put a hand on her shoulder. Lexa turned around, and Clarkes heart made the little jump it always did when Lexa looked at her.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Lexa nodded. Clarke grabbed her hand and lead her outside, not wanting anyone to listen in on their conversation and didn’t even think about the fact that Lexa was her commander and that maybe she shouldn’t hold her hand. She was too used to Lexa by now, she didn’t even think about it. Once outside Clarke shut the door and with her back still turned to Lexa she started talking.

 

“Last night I couldn’t sleep. I laid in bed for a while just staring at the roof but then…” Clarke turned around now and looked at Lexa. “I heard you walk outside. I uh… I recognized your footsteps.” Carke didn’t mention how she had noticed that Lexas footsteps were softer than the others. More careful. She didn’t want to sound too creepy. “Figuring that you couldn’t sleep either I started walking after you outside.” If Lexa was upset by this she didn’t show it. “I stopped just inside the door when I heard you talking. I know I should’ve turned back but I… I didn’t. My curiosity took over and I stood there, listening to you.” Now she could see Lexas face crack up into a panicked expression, just for a second before she returned to her normal emotionless mask, the one she used when she was the commander and not Lexa.

 

“Clarke, about what I said…” Clarke cut her off. “Wait, just let me… let me explain first. I didn’t stay there for long, but I heard you talk to someone named Costia and it seemed like you were in pain. I wanted to…” Clarke stopped herself from saying that she wanted to burst through the door and hug Lexa tight and hide her from her sorrows. “Anyways, I just want you to know that I’ve lost someone close to me too and I know what it’s like so if you need someone to talk to, I’m right here.”

 

Lexa simply nodded. She seemed to be relived for some reason. For a second it looked like she was about to walk back inside. But then she turned around and looked out into the forest in front of them.

 

“Her name was Costia, like you said. She was the girl next door when I grew up. We used to hang out all the time. We were best friends all the way to high school, and then…” Lexa smiled, thinking about the happy memories of her and Costia.

 

“I asked her to prom, and she kissed me. It was the first time I ever kissed someone. We dated all throughout high school and then enlisted together. We were put in the same troop in the army. It felt like destiny.”

 

Lexa got a sad look on her face now, and Clarkes heart broke at the sight of the sadness she could see in Lexas eyes when she glanced over.

 

“It didn’t last long. The first mission we had we went out to fight against a terrorist group known as Azgeda. Me and Costia, we were new to the army, we didn’t know the protocol well enough and…”

Silent tears were streaming down Lexas face now. “They came at night. Our troop wasn’t prepared. They were quick, just in and out, but they managed to get Costia. I didn’t know what to do so I ran after them, trying to get her back. I was stupid, and I had to suffer the consequences. They caught me as I tried sneaking into their lair and-“

 

 Lexa let out a small sob and Clarke couldn’t take it anymore. She dragged Lexa into her arms and held her close as Lexa let out a few sobs before trying to continue her story. “They… They said that they wanted to send a message… They kept us in a cave.”

 

She was still sobbing into Clarkes chest. “After what felt like hours they came in and… and… they…” Lexa was struggling to continue now. Clarke stroked her hand along her back. “Shhh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Just breathe. Lexa breathe.”

 

She felt Lexa take a staggering breath before continuing. “They dragged Costia around the corner. I heard her screams the entire way. She looked so scared, I’ve never seen anyone so scared before in my entire life and then she went around the corner and I heard her begging them, saying no, over and over and then all of a sudden there was this thump and she just went quiet.”

 

Clarke didn’t know what else to do than to just hold Lexa close. They sat there for a long while before Lexa spoke again, her voice hoarse. She wasn’t crying anymore, she sounded bitter and angry, almost vengeful. “They cut off her head, beat me up and then dropped me back at camp with her head in my hands.”

 

“Lexa that’s… horrible. I’m so sorry”

 

**_ Change in PoV: Lexa _ **

**__ **

Lexa just nodded as she dried her tears and looked away. Why she had told Clarke all of this she had no idea. Something about her made Lexa feel like she could share her secrets, and she wasn’t sure if she liked it. After all, if there was one thing Costia had taught her it was that love is weakness. It’s safer for everyone to stay clear of it.

 

The rest of the night was spent outside in the cooling air, talking and enjoying each others presence and company, and they both ended up falling asleep cuddled up underneath a blanket.

_Screams echoed through the cave tunnels_

_Fists thrown against warm cheeks_

_Knees meeting an already sore stomach_

_Harsh hands gripping brown curls_

_There was no point in fighting, Lexa knew she didn’t stand half a chance against the guys holding her but she had to. She had to keep fighting, had to get to her, had to save her before it happened again. She watched as the girl with blonde wavy hair was being dragged helplessly away, and she didn’t stop, not even for a second, to fight back against the men holding her._

_All she could do was fight, fight through the pain, struggle desperately towards the girl, the girl with eyes as blue as the morning sky. But now those eyes didn’t remind her of sunny afternoons outside, of sunshine and warmth. All she saw was her fear. They were scared and helpless and sad at what was to come. And the last thing she heard, as a mere whisper through the tunnel as blue eyes locked with hers one last time before she was dragged around the corner and into the darkness was “Why? Why would you do this to me?”_

Lexa jolted awake with a desperate cry. “No! No no no!” She felt arms holding her back, but these weren’t harsh and strong like the ones in the cave. Soft hands dragged her in and a familiar scent caught her nose as Clarke whispered softly into her hair. “It’s okay. Shhh it’s okay Lexa, I have you, you’re safe. It’s safe.” Lexa sobbed into Clarkes chest and hugged her as tight as she could. She let herself have one final moment enjoying Clarkes warmth before making the decision she knew she had to make. She couldn’t risk putting Clarke in danger. Not ever.

 

From now on it was back to being commander Woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it's been so long since I posted, I'll try to post more regularly now. Go follow me on Tumblr if you haven't yet (LunaSpike01) and please give this chapter kudos if you liked it, and let me know what you guys think in the comment section, it is as always much appreciated! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated <3


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